utter frustration
2004-02-07
@ 11:42 p.m.
i saunter through the door
with a purpose
time and again.
the words
swelling up from my depths
ready to spill over
and sever the silence
that hangs thick in the air.
then i catch sight of her and
i stop.
i stammer.
i stare at the floor.
i stall for a moment
to find my voice
under the pretense of smoking
one. last. cigarette.
before i go.
time and again
those words echo through my head
until my fears pour in
and create a riptide
with my own inadequacies.
so time and time
and time afuckinggain
i sigh
and simply
say goodnight.
