with regret
2004-02-10
@ 8:58 p.m.
this acheing in my chest
only comes
with nights spent alone.
nights with an old
black and white photograph
staring back at me
through glass housing.
reminding me of how
i loved you,
and how i failed you.
strange, how i see your face
everyday
but it's only nights like these
when my heart
is bruised
and sore
that i'm plagued with lonliness,
with regret,
and with the realization that
even though a person can say
all the things they carry
in their heart,
in the end it's not enough.
it's never enough.
more than two years gone
and still i cry
when i imagine the fear
and the despair
you must have felt
surrounded by strange and
uncaring faces.
more than two years gone
and still i cry
when i remember our last day.
how i lost my patience
and caused the sadness
that i saw in your eyes.
and now it's more than two years
too late
to tell you how sorry i am.
how sorry i am
for leaving you there.
how sorry i am
for putting off our sunday visit
until i could find more time.
and how very sorry i am
for not being there
to hold you
and say goodbye.
